Saturday, February 27, 2010

Back on The Wagon

Well, after several weeks months off from exercise and dieting... I'm back on the wagon again. It's been rough, to say the least.

Before I had my surgery, I was eating with a "what-if-I-die-in-surgery-having-not-eaten-the-things-I-wanted-to" mentality. It was fun, but not productive. Obviously, I didn't die in surgery. And sitting around the house for 5 weeks post-op didn't improve my spirits or motivation. This week was my first week back to work and finally (probably around Tuesday or Wednesday) I got back in the swing of things, started eating healthier, went grocery shopping, and started counting my calories again. It was definitely rough. After eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, it's really hard to restrict myself. But, I made it 3 whole days of eating better. Finally weighed myself on Friday and........ it said 223.2! NO!!!!!!! Somehow (even though I know how) I gained 11 pounds since November. Man... that just kinda caught me off guard.

You see... the battery in my scale died and I just kept "forgetting" to get a new one. So, I hadn't weighed myself since sometime in late November/Early December. Never again will I let that scale be dead for that long. Otherwise maybe I would have noticed like a 5 pound gain and stopped it there. Oh well..... woulda, coulda, shoulda. What happened has happened. Time to look towards the future. I now realize that this weight thing will definitely be a struggle for the rest of my life. I'll have to keep on top of it if I don't want things to get out of hand.  That sucks.  :-P

I have made myself a little 12 Week Challenge: Lose 15 pounds in 12 weeks. That's absolutely possible. I even made myself a little chart to hand on my refrigerator so I can track my progress. I just have to stick to it. The weekends are the hardest. Today is my first weekend back on the healthy eating wagon, so let's hope it goes well. I'm also not allowed (doctor's orders!) to exercise yet. Though, next week I'm allowed to start moderate exercise, though I don't really know what that means. I'm hoping to maybe try the elliptical at the gym next week and see how I feel, and hopefully I won't hurt myself.

I miss the elliptical, my old friend.....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sometimes....

Sometimes life just gets ya down....

Sometimes when you feel down and out, it's hard to see things ever being any different than they are right there in that moment...

Sometimes you feel lost and don't know how to find your way back to what you were and what you want...

Sometimes there aren't even words to explain what's wrong or why you feel the way you do.... like right now.



I need to get back to a routine, back to myself, back to something. My healthy habits, my zest for life, my happiness.... have all seemed to escape me the past few months. I feel like I'm grasping at straws....

Monday, February 8, 2010

Myomectomy: Day 20

Well, it's now been about 20 days since I had my myomectomy. Still recovering. Some days I feel almost like new... and then the next day it'll be like 2 steps backward. Those days suck. I get tired quickly, I hurt, and just generally feel gross. My incision is about 7-8 inches long and itches like crazy, and I'm having lots of girly problems and that's no fun at all either.

I can't wait to be able to exercise again. I really miss it. I've been eating like crap... ABSOLUTE crap! And since I'm not allowed to exercise, that's not a good situation for me. The only positive thing about going to back to work soon is that it should be easier to get a handle on my healthy eating again since I'll be back to my routine.

The batteries in my scale have died and I haven't picked up any new ones yet, so I actually have no idea what I'm up to now but I'm willing to bet it's at least like 215 or 220. Darn it all!

Gotta make a change.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tomorrow....

is TJ's giveaway. I entered to win her awesome set of lunch goodies, and you can too.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Myomectomy: Day 15

Well, it's been about 2 weeks since my myomectomy surgery. So far, so good. Still not 100%, but at least I can do things for myself now (for the most part). Still a few more weeks of recovery.

The worst part is that sitting at home and being bored just makes me want to eat. I really wish that I could work out, but I'm not allowed to very many activities during this recovery time, so that's kind of difficult. Boo. I have to get back on the healthy eating/exercising track. Especially since we are getting married next year. I would like to be thinner for my wedding photos.

Speaking of wedding stuff... I decided since a lot of people who read this blog (if anybody still reads it) probably don't care much about wedding stuff. So I'm going to try to keep it separate (though it may still creep in from time to time, sorry) and started a separate wedding blog.

In case anybody is interested in that one though.... It's here: Bridezilla on a Budget.