Monday, January 25, 2010

Myomectomy: Day 7

I'm about to complain, but before I do I'd just like to say... Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful for a lot of things. I'm very thankful that my surgery went well and I didn't die. I'm thankful that I have my uterus still. I'm thankful that I have health insurance and was able to have this surgery. I'm thankful for my BFF, Anna.... who really showed me how much she cared about me and took great care of me and has been SO sweet to me. I'm thankful for my sister.... who is able to commiserate with me and keep me company sometimes. I'm thankful for my fiance who makes me food, brings me drinks, goes to the store for me, slept at the hospital with me, and still loves me despite how gross I've looked and been lately and despite how moody I've been since the surgery. (And they say that a lot of women are emotional after they have myomectomies.... Well, there may be something to that theory since today I tend to cry a lot.)

That being said.... things still suck lately.

~I'm sick of being stuck in the apartment and not being able to leave because I can still barely walk.
~I'm sick of being exhausted after just walking around the apartment for a minute.
~I'm sick of not being able to take a regular shower, since I can't bend and move the way I normally would.
~I'm sick of having to lower myself slowly onto the toilet when I have to pee. And then it takes me like 5 minutes to pee because I have to let it drip out since I can't use my ab muscles to push it out. (Yes, this is probably more than you wanted to know)
~I'm sick of my stomach looking like I'm 5 months pregnant because it's so swollen. I definitely couldn't fit any of my regular clothes. I haven't worn pants (except for small periods of time when people come to visit and I feel like I have to put some pajama pants on) in a week.
~I'm sick of my butt going numb from laying on it all the time.
~I'm sick of my abdomen still being completely numb from the surgery.
~I'm sick of the pain.
~I'm sick of not having fresh air.
~I'm sick of not being able to do things for myself.

I know.... that's a lot (even though it's not all of it). I'm just feeling aggravated and emotional right now. I've watched all the TV I can handle for the most part. I just want to get up and be normal again. I want to be able to spend time with my fiance and my friends.... besides just sitting with them in my bedroom (or on the couch) until I'm tired and have to go to sleep.

Still.... I'm grateful.

I know that I am blessed and that this too shall pass.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Myomectomy: Day 4

I never thought that just sitting up for 10 minutes would wear me out to the point where I needed a nap.

The surgery went well. Thank God! My doctor got the tumor out and saved my uterus! Yay!!! I'm so glad that at least I still have the equipment I'll need to have kids. My hospital stay was alright. This is definitely not a fun recovery. Everything is painful.... sitting, talking, breathing, sleeping, peeing.... you name it, and it hurts for me to do it.

But every day seems to get a little better than the one before, so that's good.

I feel like I've been missing from the "real" world for like a month... even though it's only been a few days. Everything in my mind is fuzzy from the past few days... maybe it's all the pain meds I've been taking.

I feel like a drain on the people around me since I'm pretty much bed ridden and can't do a whole lot for myself. Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to at least make my own meals. I'm really hoping to be able to stand long enough to take a shower.... either today or tomorrow. You don't realize how much you take those things for granted until you can't do them anymore. haha.

I apologize if there are many spelling/grammar mistakes in my upcoming blogs... like I said, my brain is a little fuzzy these days.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Long time, no blog....

Well, we finally have the internet at my house now. I haven't blogged in quite a while. So, here's a quick recap of the last few months:

- My boyfriend moved in with me.
- My boyfriend asked me to marry him!!! Yay!!!
- I only lost about 14 pounds overall last year.
- I'm having surgery today at 11:30 to remove the grapefruit sized tumor from my uterus.

I'm super excited about the wedding. I honestly didn't know if I would ever find someone I thought I could marry (or would want to marry me, since I can be a little difficult sometimes. lol). I bought my wedding dress last night. I went to a bunch of different stores and tried on a bunch of different dresses.... and finally picked the one that I really didn't think would be my dress. But, in the end it was more "me" and I loved it. It's super pretty!

I'm very nervous about the surgery. I really want to have kids someday, so I really hope that she can get the tumor (hopefully when she gets in there, she only finds the one and not others) removed and keep my uterus in good shape and still in body. I don't even want to think about how I'd feel if I woke up without a uterus..... having kids has always been a dream of mine.

Anyway, I'll be off work for like the next month.... so there will probably be more blogging. Especially now that we have the internet and I can blog from my bed.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Wish me luck!