Overload....

So, I did really well about 2 weeks ago. At around 1500 or less calories each day and lost 3.4 pounds that week. The next week, I fell off the wagon and barely paid any attention to what I was eating. I hadn't weighed myself since then because I was afraid because 1) I ate like crap and didn't exercise hardly at all. 2) I know I'm carrying around a bunch of water weight and stuff because I'm PMSing and feeling bloated.

This week, I am trying to get back on the wagon. I finally got one of the books I ordered in the mail "Healing Fibroids: A Doctor's Guide to a Natural cure". My new doctor (who is awesome, by the way) recommended that book. It's just that there is so much information out there and some of it's conflicting. It's just like learning information about losing weight/being healthy. You are bombarded with so many ways to make lifestyles changes to supposedly help yourself, that you know you can't possibly do them all. So, which ones do you choose?

Fibroids, for instance. To shrink, or just relieve symptoms these are some of the things they recommend:Eating organic foods. Being only a vegetarian, but some say you can't eat too much soy because that will make it grow. Doing yoga and meditation. Taking chinese herbs. Acupuncture. Taking a combination of certain vitamins. Making certain kinds of tea.
Now, there is no possible way I can do all of this. It's too expensive, too time consuming, and I just don't have the willpower to make all those changes in my life at one time. So I feel overwhelmed. And it's the same way with weight loss/healthy eating. There are so many "theories" and "programs" that can help you change your lifestyle to a healthier one. So, which one of those do you choose?

In the end, I've decided to just try to read all that information and put as much as I can into practice, even if it's in small ways. I know that it would be hard for me to afford only eating all natural, organic things. So, I've focused mainly on trying to get organic vegetables and organic chicken when I can... since I don't eat much red meat anyway and chicken is supposedly pumped full of hormones. (which I apparently already have too much off, since that's what causes the Fibroid tumors).
Anyway, I went to the grocery store Sunday night and bought organic carrots, organic, cucumbers, organic alfalfa sprouts (my fav! That I didn't know you could buy fresh at kroger!), organic apples, bagged salad, whole grain light bread, and turkey breast. It's a start. Just that cost me about 25 dollars!
I've tried to cut back on my caffeine intake, also. Since I'm a known Diet Mt. Dew addict... it has been rough.

I contemplated buying a treadmill or elliptical, but since I'm trying to save money and I already have a gym membership I've decided to wait. Instead, I bought a pair of gym shoes and have decided to take a stab at trying to run/walk every morning. I've always wanted to be a runner, but am afraid. It just seems so therapeutic. I am a very high-strung, high-stress, kinda gal. I don't want to be and I'm trying to think of methods to keep myself from getting so worked up. I have one bad ankle that never seems to want to let me run, but I'm hoping it's just weak and I'll get used to it. I also feel like I can't run because people are judging me... "Who's she kidding? At her size, she should know she can't run." or "Ew! Fat girl running, that's not a pretty sight."
But I'm trying to push all that out of my head for now and just focus on myself for a while, and not so much on other people. I feel like my health is deteriorating WAY too much for a girl my age. I'm only 26, for goodness sake! I shouldn't be having all these aches and pains and problems.

Here's hoping for a brighter future....